Sunday, February 24, 2008


MY BALLS HAVE B.O.



I don't know about you, but i like to keep my balls clean and nice-smelling, with no fluffy hairs about, just in case someone would like to touch them, juggle them about, smell them, and play with them.

Of course, what i'm talking about are my tennis balls.


While browsing for fencing gear, i chanced upon the "Gold Dacos" brand of tennis balls, being sold in cans of two (instead of the normal 3 balls per can). Turns out its a Chinese brand fairly new to the market. Priced at PHP130.00 (vs. around PHP250 - 270 for a 3-ball can), they seemed a good bargain.

So i bought one, being curious how these balls would hold up in actual play, compared to the established brands like Prince, Penn, Wilson, Dunlop, etc.
I'm a bit anal about the tennis balls i use, preferring the Slazenger brand because of their 'feel' and durability. The worst ball i ever used was Penn, which felt like a rock upon impact to my racquet.





A few hours later, i was at the tennis court, about to start playing a set vs. my friend Peaches.

I duly opened the Gold Dacos can.
As i pulled on the aluminum tab, a Psst! sound ensued as air pressure was released. Then i took the bright-yellow balls with markings intact and absent of any fluff into my hand, juggled them a bit and smelled them.
Pooey!! They smelled really terrible! Like, like. . .words fail me. . .normally, i love smelling brand-new balls, as i find the solvent/rugby smell oddly sweet and mildly intoxicating.

But this was way, way different. This was more like rotten eggs oven-baked in cow manure for a week, and then blasted with fart and petrol.

What's worse, after we finished our set, the smell lingered on my hands. Yuck! Peaches even commented that she could smell the foul odor as the ball flew towards her during our match. Yeah, it was that bad.

I showed the balls to my friends at the club, asking "Want to smell something really terrible?" Uniformly, they all took a sniff and recoiled backwards.


In fairness, the balls felt okay. They seemed a bit harder on impact compared to my preferred Slazengers, but nothing like those Penn balls.

And their cheap price makes them attractive for players on a tight budget, who are not particular about the brand they use.

But i've decided they're not for me. Ang bantot talaga eh!

8 comments:

jencc said...

didn't know you played tennis

Anonymous said...

hehe. CUTE.

kegler747 said...

Nice intro :)

Senor Enrique said...

At first, thought you'd gone XXX ... hehehe.

Playing tennis with brand new balls is a delight!

grumpyurbanslacker said...

hey kegler,

thanks for the compliment!

hey senor enrique,

thanks! modesty aside, i seem to have the talent for double entendre, hahaha :D

pls. do organize that tennis get2gether, ha?

Eric said...

haha. maybe i should try to find them here. or send me a can.

concrete girl said...

i became curious when I your intro...nice!

grumpyurbanslacker said...

eric,

okay, one can of stinky balls coming up! Perhaps when we meet at Roland Garros? [fingers crossed] :D


hey concrete girl,

thanks for the compliment! pls. invite me to be able to read your blog, too.