Sunday, May 22, 2011


Ahh, Boracay. . . .fine powdery white sand that's cool to the feet, clear blue skies, wild parties at night, one of the Top Ten beaches in the world, etc. Yeah, you know all the cliches.

I'm temporarily turning over the blog to my cousin, Grumpy Urban Beach Bum (GUBB), who was on the island recently and has a mouthful to share for those visiting Boracay soon. Especially for those who eschew active pursuits, and just like to bum around at the beach.

Stuff to like on the island (in no particular order):

1. Jonah's fruit shakes. An institution for a good reason. Still the best in terms of flavor, variety of choices and consistency.

2. Real Coffee & Tea Cafe's calamansi muffin. Moist and tangy and doesn't scrimp on the filling, it lives up to the hype. Best eaten when warm.

Here it is:

And here it is again, after 3 seconds: (Yummy!)

3. White Beach (Station 1), specifically the section encompassing Fridays, Discovery Shores, Two Seasons, White House, Pearl of the Pacific, Seawind, and Estacia Uno (formerly Waling-Waling).

Forget the sweaty masses and nauseous bedlam at Station 2, and the . . . well, just plain jolog-ity of Station 3; and hang around at this part of Station 1.

The sand is at its finest, the beach frontage at its widest (even during high tide), the water at its crystal-clearest, and the lovely bikini babes parading around in their 2-piece suits at their hottest! [wiping drool from corner of mouth]

4. Noli Aurillo, the country's premier progressive acoustic guitarist, wields the magic of his instrument M-W-F this summer at Kasbah Moroccan resto. Catch his Michael Jackson tribute medley here. Link

5. Tirta Spa, voted as "Best Day Spa of the Year 2010" by AsiaSpa, and with good reason. Experience relaxation at its finest [separate blog post to follow].

Warning, though: Not for the light of wallet. Nevertheless, for the avid and discriminating spa enthusiasts, well worth trying out!

6. Henna tattoos. An effective way to draw attention away from one's protuding beer belly and towards one's (hopefully) bulging. . .umm, bicep. Yeah, i have it on good authority that those hot bikini babes fall for the "ethnic-tattoo-former-Bilibid-gang-member" look. :D

7. Piped-in beach music at Two Seasons Boracay resort. All-day long! Eclectic mix of chill-out music and remix versions of more mainstream artists like Katy Perry, Regina Spektor, Snow Patrol, Moby, etc.

Perfect for easy listening, while lounging on the deck chairs while working on one's tan while reading a book and sipping a margarita or an ice-cold beer and feasting on chips, while girl-watching (don't tell me you already forgot about the bikini babes, tsk tsk), all at the same time!

Not all's bed and roses though. Here's why:

Starbucks. Yellow Cab Pizza. Shakey's Pizza. All right on the beachfront.

Shouldn't there be some sort of ordinance against these monstrosities?



carlotta1924 said...

HUWAAAATTTT!!! @ the last photo.
next thing we know there's an sm there... *shudder*

kate shitspatrick said...

I envy your life.

London escorts said...
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Koryn said...

Ugh. I hate the Starbucks too! Did you know that there was once a plan to construct a Jollibee in Bora?

I mean, what the heck are they thinking?

grumpyurbanslacker said...

hey carlotta,

Exag naman re SM :D but come to think of it, maybe in ten years' time? :D

hey kate,

thanks for dropping by.

hey koryn,

terrible terrible! Although i suppose they can rationalize by saying Jollibee is a local chain...

i was surprised that during high tide, the water actually drowns certain parts of White Beach, even at Station One side. In fact, Jonah's elevated their entrance, and you have to step on sandbags to go up...tsk tsk.

i wouldn't be surprised if the beach becomes unlivable in a decade's time.

Nisha Jha said...
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